My office is still a chaotic disaster, although furniture was rearranged to my liking. I have more storage space; it’s all up to organizing now (buu buu.) Most things still need going through, shuffling around, and the weekend filled with random changes in plan, such that now it’s 4 pm on Sunday afternoon and I’m no nearer having my work-space sorted than I was on Friday evening.

Elrohir came up for a brief visit this weekend, we met him in Redding last night for book-buying and sushi, then drove home to play Guitar Hero II on his Xbox 360 and Super Mario Galaxy on our Wii. We had a big breakfast at the house this morning, hung out a while longer and sent him on his way. I miss having him around, I admit. He’s fun to be with, fun to mimic.

I feel like I’m handling my life situation a bit better now, just in the past 9-10 days. I’ve always had a bad habit of taking on the emotions of those I care about, mostly Johan these days, and I think I’m breaking that a bit. There’s no point in having a good day and letting some slight altercation on his end ruin that for me; my good days are rare enough as it is. He has a right to have a bad day, as much as I have a right to have a good one, and there’s no point in having someone else’s emotions. Mine are quite enough to be keeping after. I also feel like I’m going through some of the rougher spots in the same period of time with more grace than I had previously. Some days are easy. Some days are not. Some days weigh on me heavily even though I can’t find a reason for it. (That’s today, for instance.) I try to ignore the feelings if I can’t explain them, and try to get on with life until I either figure it out or naturally snap out of it.

Instead of getting jealous I make an effort to love, even more fiercely than before. Instead of getting impatient I try to hold my tongue and wait the situation out. Instead of getting bitter I’m pushing aside my anxieties and pressing onward, eyes on the sky. It’s all I can do, really.