Last night the monitor heater started making a peculiar knocking noise, which led to the discovery that we were completely, utterly out of fuel. Since our water heater is also fuel-powered, this meant no heat AND no hot water. Fortunately I found a company delivering to our area today (as opposed to Thursday, Friday… lovely.) The heater is back on, the house is warming up (I’ve been in layers all day) and if I weren’t so keen to get out and take a walk, I’d be taking the hottest shower I can find….

Relief also came last night (before the heater debacle) when I found out I did not, in fact, have to drive to Yreka today and sit through jury selection proceedings. Thank God for trial cancellation, that’s all I have to say. (I figure a laptop would be a no-no in court? Buu.)

I’m chipping away at work, setting up more maintenance clients, pondering a new masthead and possible redesign for this site (not sure, still thinking it over) and slowly collecting writing ideas to implement in short story form. I feel (mentally) more stable and better than I have in a while, the past few days, and I’m praying it will stick. It’s hard — every day is a challenge.

Ultimately, I like how I’ve been feeling lately, and I’d like to remain that way if possible. Getting dragged under by every wave of emotion isn’t pleasant. It might be what I’m used to, but it’s not a satisfying experience. I’m attempting to throw off the norm and forge a new path, a new way. I’m in control of my emotions right now, and not the other way around. That’s how I hope to stay.