I put aside all of my writing projects early this month — okay, all two projects; Selene and Olivine — and since then, I’ve been brainstorming lists of things I like, things important to me, things that move me. I find, as I do this more, I hit things that really and truly resonate with my insides. It’s those things that are so freaking hard to write down, or think about at length. My heart and soul resonate so strongly while I do so that it’s hard to grip a pen. Some of them are strange; why does [blank] affect me so? Yet it does, every time I find it in a book, or a movie, or a manga. The themes follow me around, and so far all I have is a few pages of… words. Not necessarily connected, not particularly on the mark. I could post the lists, but it wouldn’t truly describe the themes, the feelings.

So I have scraps to work with, phrases, an occasional sentence, and lots and lots of single words. I’m still searching for meaning — maybe it’d be better to say I’m searching for what the words mean. (This is hard to describe, can you tell?) I’m building a dictionary for myself, of things that mean something to me. But having a dictionary does not a novel, a paragraph or even a sentence make; the words must be put in an order that gives meaning and says something to the reader. (Even if the reader is me.)

…and meanwhile, I’m still thinking….